This weekend, I had the honor of being in the audience to celebrate the graduation of one of my favorite people. This graduation day seemed so far away in kindergarten but was here before I knew it, and I must confess, I am not ready. I am also certain that my graduate is not ready, but here we are moving forward into a place of trying to make the best of it.
One of the greatest lessons that therapy teaches us is that human beings generally try to do the best they can with what they have. When these new graduates sit in their dorms on campus or take a rest in the quad, I want them to think about this post. When it gets tough, I want my graduate to remember these two concepts. “You are never alone.” and “We will always figure it out.”
Letter to My Graduate
Dear J, Congratulations on your graduation; we are all so very proud of you. We are proud of you for who you are which shows up in what you do. Those of us who love you are proud that you can make mistakes and learn from your mistakes. We are proud that you are still in development and that you dedicate resources to developing yourself further. Thank you for being brave and expanding your circle, thank you for finishing what you started, and thank you for continuing to question who you are, why you are here, and most importantly, for trying to make the world a more joyful place.
I know that many of the days at school will be tough. You are learning new things and meeting new people. It is an exciting time and also one that can be a bit scary. As you walk around your daily life, I hope you can enjoy moments of pause to replenish yourself and to find some sweetness and joy every day to counteract the inevitable bitterness that comes from living.
Graduate: You Are Well-Loved
Please remember, you are never alone; you have an entire community with you, thinking about you and praying for you. Some of your support is present in the physical, but many of us are there with you in spirit. We are all just a phone call or text away, and you are always in our hearts.
But don’t look back; move forward. Build new and healthy friendships with your peers. College brings us a diverse group of people. From roommates to classmates, club members to teammates, these individuals become your support network, so get involved and make memories. Your peers are also navigating this change, and sharing experiences will lead to lasting friendships.
Graduate, Work on Excellence, not Perfection
Part of the reason that we send you to college is to allow you a bit more time to grow and develop. We do not expect you to be perfect; please release any expectations that you may have of perfection, as that is a fantasy. We are always working on excellence but never expecting perfection. Colleges are designed to support your mental and academic growth. Counseling centers, academic advisors, and student health services are there to help you adjust.
When life becomes confusing as it does for all of us at times, go back to your foundation. Our family believes problems have solutions; our job is to find solutions. When we view challenges as learning opportunities rather than insurmountable obstacles, we never lose. Keep that winning mindset because you have earned it. This mindset will help you cope with all the pressure that adult functioning brings.
Make it a practice to reach out to professors, peers, mentors, or coaches who can offer different perspectives and solutions. Build your bridges before you and lean into these relationships, as collaboration is key to solving complex problems. You are still an independent person; you know how to use resources wisely. Every step you take, from passing a difficult exam to making a new friend, is a victory. Celebrate these moments. They are signs of your growth and adaptability.
College is a unique chapter in your life—embrace it fully, confident that you have the tools and the community to support you every step of the way. Make beautiful memories that will last a lifetime. You are on the right track; trust yourself, and remember, we will always figure it out!
