A Thanksgiving of Interconnectedness
Today, as we celebrate Thanksgiving in the USA, many of us are reimagining this holiday to honor our diverse backgrounds and respect our Native family members. In my household, we focus on humanity’s interconnectedness, emphasizing recognition, respect, and appreciation for all cultures. This approach is less about glossing over the past and more about celebrating diversity and fostering understanding.
The Challenge of Family Gatherings
Gatherings can be challenging when trying to connect with family, especially when faced with conflicting values or frustrations. These situations can be stressful, and we might even dread attending family events. However, it’s important to remember that maintaining connections is crucial for our mental health and well-being. Isolation over time can lead to symptoms of depression and difficulties in social situations. Social skills are similar to intimacy skills in that they must be practiced.
Three Key Steps to Navigate Family Dynamics
- Fill up your emotional gas tank. Practice good self-care before you even think about venturing forward to mingle with family. Ensure that you are well-rested and fed. Satisfy all your biological and emotional needs. Read a book, have a phone call with someone that makes you feel good, or get a pedicure. Take some action in your own life that demonstrates your love for yourself. If we continue to give energy to others without restoring ourselves, we build resentment and lower our vibrations. It becomes easy to lash out at others when we feel depleted. As a preventative measure, check your emotional reserves and fill up before you engage with those closest to you.
- Find common ground. Conflict indicates that there is a difference of opinions and values. Yet, there is so much that binds us together as human beings. It could be the same football team, maybe it is a shared loved one, or it might be a shared memory that brings you together. We can all find small ways to connect with anyone if we so choose. Connection requires work, but it is the emotional price we pay as we develop our social skills. Remember, we are our tribe.
- Reward yourself. You may feel a little drained after extended interaction with family or friends. Congratulate yourself on keeping it together. Plan a reward into your day as reinforcement for your ability to smooth out the rough patches. Remember, we are practicing self-regulation and smoothing out our rough edges. All that restraint takes work, so treat yourself. Remember to process the event appropriately, we are still keeping our journals right? Highlight the best pieces of the day and release the areas of tension. This is YOUR life, and you are creating it in your own way. Small actions like an evening walk or a favorite movie help you to keep going back despite the distress. Using the power of behavior modification and conditioning, we can shape our behaviors intentionally and meaningfully.
Sustainable Change through Frustration Tolerance at Thanksgiving
Developing frustration tolerance is essential for long-term mental health. It involves recognizing our emotions, understanding our triggers, and finding healthy ways to cope. This practice helps us during family gatherings and also in our personal and professional lives.
Embracing Diversity and Connections
This Thanksgiving, let’s commit to celebrating diversity and fostering connections, even when it’s challenging. By practicing self-care, self-acceptance, and self-compassion, we can navigate our frustrations and build stronger, more understanding relationships.
