Child Counseling; Abuse Allegations?
I was most appalled to read this weekend of the arrest of Creflo Dollar whom I have found to be an inspiration to many of my clients. I also enjoy listening to Dr. Dollar and was surprised to learn of the child abuse allegation against him. Although I personally don't know what happened within that household on that evening, I am well aware of what happens when tensions get heated in a family discussion and kids do not get their way which is what happened when his 15 year old daughter was told that she could not go to a party.
Anger, abuse and frustration?
As I therapist I am also aware of what happens when parents become overwhelmed and frustrated and anger takes over; we yell, we scream, we punish but hopefully we never choke or punch because that is not punishment but rather is a manifestation of our own inability as an adult to control our emotions.
Too often I have sat with children that don't realize that they have been sexually, emotionally or physically abused because they perceive the abuse as "normal"; it is what they are used to and has far reaching effects. How can we expect our children to practice good emotional self control and show us the behavior that we desire when we are not good role models of those behaviors? Child counseling requires great skill and patience yet it can be taught and parents can advocate to be the counselor for their child within their home. In our practice we are able to teach communication skills to both parents and youth that allow them to clarify expectations, reduce triggers to outbursts and still set appropriate boundaries and limitations.
Unconditional Positive Regard
Dr. Dollar is emphatically denying that there is NO abuse within his household and I accept his statement with the unconditional positive regard that I give all human beings until I get information to the contrary but I think it must be difficult to work through a family event when the entire world is watching. This too will pass but hopefully when it does pass the family will use the crisis as an opportunity to get stronger and closer. Like a broken bone, what is fractured within our selves and within our homes can become stronger with the right TLC. Like a physical broken bone that needs setting by a physician, emotional wounds need to be "set" by a therapist, trained and licensed in the area of family dynamics.
If you struggle with your child or with yourself, please get help today.