Navigating the Aftermath: A Guide for Parents on Discussing the Boston Marathon with Children

In the wake of a national tragedy, such as the Boston Marathon, parents find themselves facing the daunting task of explaining the events to their children. The recent conversation I had with a client — a mother grappling with her 9-year-old son’s anxiety post-explosion — highlighted the need for therapeutic guidance in these discussions.

How can we, as caregivers, discuss such events with our children in a manner that is both honest and comforting without shying away from the reality of the situation? This youth reported increased anxiety and difficulty sleeping since the explosion. We sat down and tried to find the right words to convey the gravity of the situation while at the same time helping to ease the anxiety and build resilience for our kids. This is a tough situation and one that should be handled delicately.

Understanding and Addressing Child Anxiety in the Face of Tragedy

It is essential to start by acknowledging the unpredictability and, often, the unfairness of life. Bad things can and do happen, and sometimes there is no clear reason why. Acknowledge that there are many aspects of life which are beyond our control AND there are also many aspects of life where we do have control such as wearing a seatbelt or learning proper safety procedures.

When you acknowledge and validate their concerns, they don’t feel so alone because they know that you are also feeling the same way. When we educate our children on the stress process, we let them know that anxiety is an appropriate and biological response to this stressful situation and teach them what they can do to relieve this stress from their minds and body for the present and also in the future.

When children are able to actively practice those things in their lives that they DO have control of such as knowing their parent’s phone number or how to get help, they internalize this control into their lives helping them to feel less anxious. Such discussions help validate your child’s concerns, letting them know they are not alone in their feelings.

Education about the stress process is equally important. When children understand that anxiety is a natural biological response to stress, they can start to learn coping mechanisms. By practicing and internalizing control over aspects of their life, children can build resilience and reduce anxiety.

Creating a Safe Space for Children

Reassurance is key. It is vital to affirm your child’s safety and your role as a protector. Next, reassure your child that they are safe and that no harm will come to them. Let them know that you as a parent are here and that their elected officials and community helpers in law enforcement, police, fire, principals, teachers and ALL their community members are there to love, support and protect them daily. Knowing they are surrounded by a network of protection can offer immense comfort.

Preparation and Empowerment Through Practice

Discuss the importance of being mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared for unexpected events. Role-play scenarios to train and prepare them on how to respond to emergencies. This behavior rehearsal, coupled with identifying key terms to signal an emergency, can provide your child with a clear action plan, thus instilling a sense of security. If they DO go through a similar situation, what do you want them to do?

Run through the scenario to TRAIN them on the best way to handle an attack. Do you want them to get closer and observe? Do you want them to stop and call on a phone, do you want them to run and look for police? Practice BEHAVIOR REHEARSAL, children will do as you practice with them. So, practice now and use key words to identify that this is an emergency situation.

Embracing Spirituality and Community in Healing

In moments of despair, leaning on faith and community can be a powerful source of comfort and healing. If you feel strongly about the tragedy, you may lean on your faith-based systems and conduct a memorial or acknowledgement of the tragedy. In mental health, spirituality is clinically proven as one of the most powerful means of combating stress, anxiety and depression. Whether it’s through a memorial service or a community gathering, acknowledging the tragedy and coming together can help combat feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression.

Recognizing When to Seek Professional Help

It’s important to monitor your child for signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), such as difficulty sleeping, changes in appetite, or trouble functioning in daily activities. If these symptoms persist, seeking professional help is a necessary step for healing.

The Role of Caregivers in a Child’s Journey to Recovery

As caregivers, your role in your child’s journey through understanding and coping with such events is pivotal. Here are actionable steps to support this journey:

Communication: Start with a conversation that allows your child to express their feelings and fears.
Information Management: Be mindful of the information and media exposure your child has regarding the event.
Routine: Maintain a normal routine to provide your child with a sense of stability.
Education: Teach them about the helpers and safety measures in place.
Empowerment: Engage in activities that make them feel secure and in control.
Support: Recognize when additional support from mental health professionals is needed.

Through these steps, you not only address the immediate concerns but also contribute to a long-term foundation of emotional wellness for your child.

Boston Marathan: Conclusion

The discussion surrounding the Boston Marathon and similar events with children is undoubtedly complex. It requires a balance of honesty and sensitivity. By acknowledging the reality of the situation, providing reassurance, preparing them for emergencies, and embracing community and spirituality, we can guide our children through these challenging times. Remember, it is not just about the conversation you have today but also about the ongoing support and understanding you provide as they navigate their feelings and responses to the events of the world around them.

Addressing such life-changing topics with children isn’t easy, but with empathy, patience, and the right approach, we can foster a sense of safety and resilience in the young minds we are nurturing. If you or your child continues to have difficulty sleeping, eating or functioning, you may be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and you should get professional help. Again, if the struggle becomes overwhelming, do not hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional who can guide you and your child through the path of recovery.

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